Distance Lovin’ Part 2: Happy Ending Massage – For Women

I’m including this in the Distance Lovin’ series because 1) the idea of women paying for sexual pleasure is, to some, a foreign idea, 2) because this topic involves traveling outside one’s home or the confines of a relationship for romantic/sexual pleasure, 3) because there are some out there who will travel a bit far and wide for a “release”, and 4) because this was just too interesting for me to wait to include it in some other series.

man_massage_girl-300x212Happy ending massage for women. Is this real? Is this therapy? Is it insured? After all, some providers cover Viagra and Cialis under special circumstances, right? But even if IBX, Aetna/Humana, or Cigna won’t cover it, for some women it is the right prescription.

We’ve come a long way from the days when doctors diagnosed sexually deprived women with “hysteria” and created machines to help them climax, by appointment only.  Adult toy and silicone manufacturers the world over are deeply indebted.

Advertisement for the Barker Vibrator by James Barker in Philadelphia, 1906.

Victorian Vibrators, “The Doctor Will Please You Now” by Chris Wild on RETRONAUT

Now, you New Millennium chicks can shamelessly get your jollies in a swanked out massage studio without anybody standing around calling you crazy. And if the typical masseuse is anything like the pro in this article — I Provide Happy Ending Massages to Women for a Living — you’d give up those riffraff, one-night-stands and questionable characters in favor of someone who’s guaranteed to know exactly what he’s doing.  (Sexually inept husbands may be a bit harder to shake, sorry.) You’d just have to pay for it… maybe.

I don’t know just how public or widespread this niche business has become, since I’ve just started researching it and my curiosity is only burgeoning.  I don’t know if most of these services are rendered sneakily behind nondescript doors at the ends of quiet alleys, or if providers are coming out of the shadows.

happy ending masseuse

I Provide “Happy Ending” Massages To Women For A Living By Bo Alexis, yourtango

Is this stuff even legal?  When I think of happy ending massage for men, I picture a bunch of drone-like, pre-pubescent Asian girls (probably being held against their will) in sleezy joints frequented by traveling soldiers.  You’ve seen those places get busted in the movies:  some girl screams, jumps off a guy’s back and makes a futile attempt to run away in nothing but booty shorts while cops swarm the place.  Okay, maybe they’re not all like that.

I get the sense that these outfits for women are definitely different.  Picture a cross between a Reiki studio, Aveda Spa, and a scene from “Hung”.  I could be getting carried away.

You shouldn’t take my word for it, I know very little.  This website – Her Private Pleasures – seems pretty informative.  And the New York proprietor/masseuse seems to have come up with a very clever way of getting around that legal issue:  [Important Information from the About page] “Her Private Pleasures is a part-time non-profit pursuit based on a passion for providing holistic alternative approaches to women’s personal satisfaction and well-being. The service is intended for like-minded individuals who believe in the benefits of such approaches. As a guest of the service, you understand I am neither a physician or a licensed therapist. Sessions are complimentary. Optional donations appreciated, but only if you feel the service you received warrants it.”

Come on, the least you can do is tip the guy.

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